How important is celebrating Valentine’s Day to you? Is it all red roses or just a thorny issue in your relationship?
Relate MTB relationship experts say that our expectations for romantic occasions – such as Valentine’s Day or anniversaries – are actually shaped in our childhood years by the actions of the adults around us.
So to make sure you meet the expectations of the one you love on February 14th have a chat now about how their parents marked special occasions and pick up some valuable Valentine clues.
Our counsellor, Liz, says Valentine’s Day expectations are a familiar relationship stumbling block, explaining: “How people demonstrate their love – through words, touch, actions, gifts or time dedicated to spend together – gives us a better understanding of how they want to receive love themselves. A mis-match or lack of understanding can quickly turn into ‘He doesn’t buy me flowers on Valentine’s Day, therefore he doesn’t love me’. But often it is just an aspect of how we were brought up.”
The sooner a couple bring these issues to a professional counsellor the sooner any love mis-match can be redressed, says Liz.
Local charity Relate MTB has been providing high quality relationship advice across our communities for more than 50 years and last year delivered counselling to nearly 2,000 people.
So whether you have been together for six weeks or sixty years, have a little chat about your hopes for the most romantic day of the year and avoid any thorny issues.
Visit www.relateMTB.co.uk for more relationship advice and to see our full range of counselling services.
Thanks to the NHB Micro Grant we received from Aylesbury Vale District Council, Relate MTB has a smart, mobile information stand that we can take out to local events and meetings.
It enables us to reach out into communities to share the wide range of counselling available to local people and the many ways that Relate MTB counselling can improve people’s relationships and well-being – we offer so much more than ‘marriage guidance’.
Relate MTB Operations Manager Emma Winter said: “Our new mobile information stand provides an eye-catching presentation of our services that we will take ‘on the road’. Many people who are hesitant to make that important first step in contacting us will be able to browse information about our services, giving them the confidence to start a friendly and informal initial conversation. We are very grateful to the NHB Micro Grant and to Aylesbury Vale District Council for making this possible.”
If you are organising a community event or your club welcomes along speakers, please email Emma: firstname.lastname@example.org
Maidenhead Advertiser Article. 3rd January 2019
Click here to read in PDF format
A record-breaking year for the popular Kop Hill Climb Festival will benefit Relate MTB clients thanks to a donation by the organisers to our Bursary Funding Scheme.
The Kop Hill Climb is held in September in the Chiltern Hills, featuring cars, motor bikes, fair rides, music and a thrilling soapbox kart race – all thanks to a team of hard-working volunteers and helpers.
We are delighted to have been awarded £1,000 from the proceeds, via Heart of Bucks, to our Bursary Funding Scheme to support clients from Wycombe District who would not otherwise be able to access professional relationship counselling.
As a small, local charity, with no statutory funding, nor funding from Wycombe District Council, we rely on charitable donations and income from clients who are able to pay full fees to provide high quality counselling to local people who are not in a position to pay.
Next year the Kop Hill Climb Festival will take place on September 21-22, to find out more please visit www.kophillclimb.org.uk
To make a donation to Relate MTB’s Bursary Funding Scheme, click here.
Relate MTB’s advice for avoiding festive fall-outs
Christmas can put an added strain on relationships and if you are already experiencing issues then added ‘festive pressures’ such as financial woes and family rows can push things to breaking point.
Have a conversation now about what’s not working , just starting to have those difficult conversations can take some of the pressure off before you’re all jammed in at home together for a week.
Relate MTB counsellors provide professional relationship counselling for couples, families and individuals all year round with counselling rooms in our local communities. Below are our tips to avoid falling-out over the festive break.
To find out more about our counselling services browse this website and you can email us using our ‘contact’ page – our offices are open until December 21 and again from January 2.
Relate’s advice for avoiding Christmas fall-outs
DO agree a budget. Sit down with your partner and decide what you want Christmas to look like, versus what you can actually afford and agree a budget. This might take some compromise, particularly if you have different attitudes to money. Keep checking in so there aren’t any nasty surprises come January.
DO divide up tasks. Talk about what needs to happen, such as buying presents, tidying the house, preparing food and decorating. Divide up tasks based on your skills and interests and empower the kids by getting them to choose which chores they will do.
DO carve out me and us time. When you’re with a big family group for several days, it’s important to take time out so you don’t burn out. Go to your room for a while and enjoy a cuddle or get up early to go for a morning run together. Have a bath to relax and unwind.
DON’T let it fester. If your partner does something to upset you, ask them if you can talk to them in private rather than kicking off in front of the family. If there are guests around, head to the garden or go together to run an errand and discuss things properly then.
DO give people equal attention. You may have your favourite relatives who you prefer to hang out with or a child who you have a particularly strong bond with or common interests with, but try to make an effort with everyone so that people don’t feel left out or unwanted.
DON’T drink too much booze. It can be tempting to get carried away on Christmas Day, particularly if conversation isn’t flowing easily or if somebody has rubbed you up the wrong way. Unfortunately, too much alcohol when you’re already in a bad mood can be a recipe for an unmerry Christmas and an awkward New Year.
The Prince Philip Trust Fund is supporting relationship counselling for local couples and families with a £1,000 grant towards providing a counselling room in Windsor for Relate Mid Thames and Buckinghamshire (Relate MTB).
Comedy actor and broadcaster Tim Brooke-Taylor OBE, President of Relate MTB, thanked Trustee and Treasurer Ross Wilson when they met counsellors at Relate MTB’s annual meeting in Maidenhead on Monday (November 19th).
Local charity Relate MTB opened a Windsor counselling room in October last year and the grant, awarded earlier in November, will enable the hours to be extended.
Mr Wilson said: “Relate have for many years been seen by the Trustees of the Prince Philip Trust to carry out a hugely worthwhile service within our community, often quietly and in the background. We are delighted that these funds and that of others, will help them to continue to support local residents, couples and families through difficult times.”
Fiona Greenfield, Centre Director of Relate MTB, said: “We are very grateful to the Trustees of The Prince Philip Trust Fund, and its chair, His Royal Highness the Earl of Wessex, for awarding us a grant. We appreciate the huge number of applications they receive.
“The need for relationship counselling in our communities is growing and we are committed to providing skilled help to local people, regardless of their ability to pay, through our Bursary Funding Scheme.
“We are here for people of all ages and backgrounds, we work to reach out and extend our services beyond the barriers that many people may face. We serve disadvantaged and vulnerable people within the community, providing a high quality, reliable and confidential service for people who are feeling isolated and vulnerable.”
The Relate MTB website has lots of useful information, including how to contact us about receiving counselling, visit www.relatemtb.co.uk, call 01628 625320 or email email@example.com
New Trustees have been welcomed to Relate MTB as retiring supporters were thanked for their great support.
Michael Young (Treasurer), Bep Dhaliwel and Gill Monk were welcomed by Chair of Trustees Janice Campbell and Centre Director Fiona Greenfield at the charity’s annual meeting on Monday, November 19th .
President Tim Brooke-Taylor OBE took time out from Radio 4’s I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue panel show to join Janice and Fiona in thanking retiring Treasurer Raymond Clarke and fellow Trustees Sue Mervyn-Jones and Janet Shaw for their ‘enormous contributions’ to the charity.
Tim’s wife, Christine, led the tributes to Raymond saying: “You have seen us through some ups and downs to the stable position that we are now in, a huge thank you for your loyalty, kindness and expertise.”
Centre Director Fiona Greenfield said: “Our Trustees play such an important role in ensuring that Relate MTB is here is provide relationship counselling for local people regardless of their ability to pay. It is thanks to them that our amazing counsellors are able to provide skilled support that makes so much difference to our local communities.
“Raymond, Sue and Janet have donated their time and skills to supporting us and we will miss them greatly. But I am delighted to welcome our new members, Michael, Bep and Gill, and we are looking forward to working alongside them.”
Chair Janice Campbell told the meeting that it has been a busy and successful year for Relate MTB, providing relationship counselling at 7 locations across East Berkshire and most of Buckinghamshire. She thanked funders and donors, saying: “Thanks to their support we continue to offer bursaries to people unable to meet the full fee of counselling, including highly vulnerable people.
“Our main asset is our staff and I warmly thank them for their continuing commitment to our clients and to Relate MTB.”
The difference Relate MTB makes to local residents and communities has been recognised with a grant of £1,260 from Chiltern District Council.
We are committed to providing high quality relationship counselling and those who are unable to pay can apply for support from our Bursary Funding Scheme.
Currently 17% of sessions we deliver are partly or fully funded by the Bursary Funding Scheme, money which is raised entirely by Relate MTB, replying on the support of local authorities, charitable organisations and trusts that value the difference we make.
Fiona Greenfield, Centre Director, thanked the councillors and officers of Chiltern District Council, saying: “We are delighted that Chiltern District Council continues to recognise the difference our relationship counselling is making to people from all walks of life, in so many different circumstances. By improving the relationship skills of local people of all ages and backgrounds, we improve skills in communicating with and building relationships with people across communities. From feedback from our clients we know that our counselling can have a life-long impact.”
In 2017-18 Relate MTB delivered counselling sessions to more than 200 people living in Chiltern District.
Bekonscot Model village is a miniature world that makes a huge difference and Relate MTB is delighted to be one of the many local charities and good causes that it supports, through the Roland Callingham Foundation.
The late Roland Callingham created Bekonscot, the world’s oldest and original model village and railway set in the 1930s, that attracts many visitors every year. He was a great supporter of charities, particularly those that served the local community and now, not only does the foundation maintain the village, its surplus funds enable grants to local charities operating in Buckinghamshire.
Thanks to the generosity of the Trustees, we have been awarded £1,000 towards our Bursary Funding Scheme which means that Relate MTB’s professional and high quality relationship counselling can be accessed by local couples, families and individuals regardless of their ability to pay.
Fiona Greenfield, Centre Director of Relate MTB, said: “We are very grateful to the Roland Callingham Foundation for its continued support. We are lucky to have such a fascinating attraction in our neighbourhood and delighted that through Roland Callingham’s inspirational village we can continue helping to improve local people’s relationships, well-being and life chances through professional counselling.”
Find out more about Bekonscot at https://www.bekonscot.co.uk/
Building resilient communities is a key focus for many local authorities and the work of Relate MTB’s team of professional counsellors in this area has again been recognised with a grant from South Bucks District Council.
In 2017-18 we delivered 286 counselling appointments to South Bucks residents with many relying on our Bursary Funding Scheme to enable them to access this valuable support, guiding vulnerable and in-need local families, couples and individuals to build stronger relationships, giving insight into how to cope in the difficult and stressful times so many of us face, sharing life-long skills in achieving safe and healthy relationships that support our well-being and improving life-chances.
Fiona Greenfield, Relate MTB Centre Director, said: “We thank South Bucks District Council for contributing £1,100 to our Bursary Funding Scheme and for their continued support for our work supporting our local communities. With no statutory funding and as a stand-alone local charity we rely on local authorities recognising the important contribution we make to building resilient communities and supporting people’s well-being through strong and safe relationships.”